heyMamas

Completely Clueless

Lily had nine girls including Belle sleep over this past Saturday night for her birthday party, and ever since then the following thoughts have filled my mind....

 

What do you do when one of your baby's best friends literally breaks her heart RIGHT THERE while you are watching?

 

I could actually see Lily's heart break when her new best friend kept pulling another friend away from her at her own birthday party.

 

What do you do to improve a situation where your own child has been made to feel out of place at her own birthday party?

 

What do you do when a child is in your house and acting so inappropriately that you want to discipline her? 

 

Do you discipline her?  Are you allowed? 

 

Will the kids think you are totally uncool?

 

Will the kids be scared of you?

 

Will they go home and tell their parents that you are a monster and that you dared to correct bad behavior when obviously behavior like theirs is tolerated in their house?

 

What do you do when kids are shouting orders at you without a please and thank you when your biggest achievement to date has been that your own children would never utter a command without a please or thank you?

 

What do you when you don't want your children influenced by another child but you are great friends with their parents?

 

What do you do when your daughter now wants you to talk to the mother of this child that hurt her so much?

 

How do you protect your child and try to fix their broken heart, while trying to teach them that this is life and children can be really mean and hurtful.  

 

 

Not only do I not know the answer to these questions, but I have no idea how I am ever going to host another giant sleepover or play date for that matter, without wanting to eavesdrop on everything that is happening.  And that's just not me.  So if anyone out there has any advice on how best to deal with any of the above questions, PLEASE do share.

 

 

The Mighty, Mighty Workers

As I made my way up Seventh Avenue this morning heading toward my office, in the distance I could hear a faint hum which I have come to know means there is some kind of activity in Times Square.

 

People gathering in groups for protests, concerts or advertising events, is a not an unusual occurrence in Time Square.   Even knowing this, there is something so eerie about hearing this faint noise when you are not even entirely sure if it is real, because what is very real and very LOUD, is the morning traffic whizzing by you, horns blasting and brakes on buses squeaking.

 

Anyway, as I made my way closer to Times Square, I could start to make out what the noise actually was.  It was indeed a group of people protesting about something.  For the first time ever, because I usually keep my head down and avoid eye contact, I thought that I should look at these people and read their signs.

 

That's what they are there for after all, so they can spread their message.

 

This group called themselves The Mighty Mighty Workers and each protester wore a big hand-made oak tag sign around their necks that read something about their employer not paying for health insurance for them and their families.

 

There were men and women walking in this circle, going around and around, with a man leading the group.  Each person looked so defeated.  And whether it be the man standing on the corner of Fifth Avenue handing out flyers for a shoe shine shop, or the other guy that stands on the corner in the dead of winter with a big heavy sign on his front and back advertising two men's suits for two hundred dollars, my heart just breaks.

 

So this what it has come too for this particular group.  To have a chance at the basic right of health insurance for their family, they have to parade around in freezing cold weather at 6:30am in the morning like a herd of cows wearing signs around their necks.  And they probably won't even get it.

 

It is devastating how employers exploit their workers and just use them up, but deny them the basic means to take care of their families because of a bottom line.

 

For some reason this scene struck me in such a way that I just started crying, right there walking up Seventh Avenue.

 

Tears continuously streaming down my face and I just couldn't stop.

 

As I got within a few feet of my building I was thinking, seriously Sadie, get it together.  But I just couldn't.  I had to wait and go inside a bank for a few minutes to gain some composure. 

 

After a few minutes I headed up to my office and thanked god for how lucky I am that I am not down there on that street fighting for health insurance for my family, but my heart ached for the people that were.

The Money Effect

When we first moved to Long Island I knew it was only a matter of time before we would be up against certain situations where my girls would come home and say, "Sloane has this and Emily has that or Taylor has an ipad and she is only in second grade, why can't I have an ipad?"

I am well aware of the fact that children wanting something another child has is not a phenomenon specific to our town.  This is a normal occurrence no matter where you live any where in the world.  The level of the material possession may change but kids are kids and they want what other kids have and there will always be those kids that have more, or the latest gadget, or the best clothes.

Having said that, Long Island and New York are not exactly like the rest of the country though.  People here spend money hand over fist.  I am sure many of them can afford to buy these things, and some that do, probably shouldn't, but they do anyway.  Their priorities seem to be out of line and saving is not as important as spending is, and a keeping up with the Jones' attitude is a very real thing. 

Lately, we have found that trying to raise children in this environment where we are savers and many others are spenders, is definitely a rough road to navigate.  It seems that I am explaining on a weekly basis, the value of money and how we choose to spend or save ours, may differ from others and those are our choices. 

Everyone makes different choices.  Some people choose to be fiscally responsible and plan ahead and others are not as fiscally responsible and don't plan ahead.  I think my girls are getting it and someday they will thank us for teaching them the concept of saving. 

Lily has decided to take twenty five percent of her allowance and put it away for the house she wants to buy in Charleston, when she graduates college.

So we forge ahead because when I hear Lily talk about saving and the house she is going to buy, I am hopeful that some of our tremendous efforts are sinking in, but believe me a brand new pair of tall Uggs is much easier for them to understand.

Winning the Lottery

Belle's class has been doing segments with a Long Island Kidsday Reporter that has included various product reviews, stories and interviews.  Last week her teacher conducted a lottery in class and four children were picked to travel into the city, go to Planet Hollywood and meet Bailee Madison, the little girl in the new Jennifer Aniston movie, Just Go With It.

Belle got picked!

Planet Hollywood is only three blocks from my office!

And they didn't get into the city until 4:30pm, which means I got to work almost the whole day and still partake in a school activity with my girl!

What a coup for me....and her!

Once the kids got into the city and made it to Planet Hollywood, Bailee came out and was photographed by about twenty five photographers.

 

{I have never seen so many flashes going off at once and they must have taken at least four thousand pictures of her.  The flashes were constant.  I had a glimpse of how annoying paparazzi must be to celebrities.}

{Then she put her handprints into cement so they could add it to the other celebrity handprints that adorn the walls throughout the restaurant.}

The kids waited for Bailee to complete her various interviews and then she came to a private part of the restaurant and sat with them while they asked her the questions they had prepared.  Belle was so composed and acted like Bailee was just a friend.  After every answer that Bailee gave, she would say "you're so cute" to Belle. 

After Bailee left, we stayed and had dinner at Planet Hollywood.  The entire day was magical to Belle.  Just the train ride into the city was enough to give her a thrill.  

I am so blessed that I got to share something like this with Belle and I know she will never forget it, especially the part that had me right there by her side. 

I love you baby!

The Beauty of Being Bored

A good friend of mine at work is from London and we constantly talk about the difference between Europeans and Americans. 

Americans have giant flat screens TV's in our living rooms, Europeans think that is beyond crass. 

Americans buy tons of clothing, Europeans spend a great deal on very few outfits and wear them much  more frequently.

Americans live to work and Europeans work to live.  They travel extensively and value vacations more than we do.  

Americans go out to restaurants when getting together with friends, Europeans have more low key dinner parties.   

Americans are more impressed with money and material things that people posses, Europeans, are more impressed with the last book your read, or your political views, or what you are currently studying. 

Sure their teeth are shit compared to ours, but they seem to have a lot more substance than we do.  Of course these are gross generalizations and there are outliers in every category, but there is a truth to what she says. 

She herself is now living the life of a genuine New Yorker, although she has to go back to London soon as her Visa will expire.  She feels like since she has come to live in New York, all she does is work, spends the majority of her salary on rent and eating out, but says she can't help it as this is just the New York lifestyle. 

The one thing that I find the most fascinating about her experiences and feelings about the differences between Americans and Europeans is that she says, in the U.S nobody ever really just does nothing.  People in America are always doing something. 

In London when you ask someone on a Monday, "how was your weekend, what did you do?" and they respond simply, "nothing."  She says most people will answer back, "beautiful."  

Whereas in the U.S. if you ask someone that same question and they were to answer "nothing", they might look at you as if you were a little sad and pathetic.  

One day a few weekends ago, we had an early dinner {one of our favorite things to do} and then the girls and I sat around the table and worked on a fun project.  Just me and my girls.  Each one pulling a chair so close, they were practically in my lap.

It was beautiful.

Beautiful to be sitting together working on something that didn't involve anything technical or modern. Just talking and listening to each other. It was beyond awesome and certainly the highlight of my weekend. 

So for as much as I can, which usually isn't very much considering our sporting schedule on the weekend, I am going to try to schedule a little more nothing. 

A little more nothing so that maybe one day we could actually be bored. 

I would love to see what that feels like.