This past Monday, a friend of mine at work gave me the following affirmation that she tears from a daily affirmation book:
"Daughters are not the chance to do a corrective rerun on one's own misguided youth. They want their own misguided youth." Pam Brown
After I read that, and I read it about three times to allow it to permeate my brain as well as my heart, I realized just how completely and totally true it is.
To know it is one thing. To know it and genuinely live BY it, it is a whole other story.
To actually let your children fall flat on their faces at times and not jump in to prevent it from happening is almost impossible to do, but it is necessary.
I am just about to step into this world with my girls, especially Belle, as they start to navigate lots of sensitive issues, like the sex talk we just had the other night, and I want so desperately to do it right.
I want to do it right becasuse I love them so completely and I want them to grow up well adjusted, determined and over-flowing with self confidence.
I want them to be girls that have the type of confidence that comes from within because they trust their inner voice, and not because their Mother is whispering in their ear navigating each turn for them.
But Holy Shit!, how unbelievably hard must that be to do?
How hard must that be to watch them fail, or be rejected and have to pick themselves up and learn all the hard lessons without giving them a cheat sheet? And even if you did give them a cheat sheet, they wouldn't believe it anyway.
Sure I can give them pointers but I can't hold them back from going through the pain or excitement of these life experiences. And I will do my very, very best to do just that. To sit back and allow them to have these moments because it is the right thing for them. And my job when it comes down to it, is really just all about them.
Every Tuesday night Drew and I watch Parenthood on ABC and if you are not watching it, you should be. It is an amazing show and not one episode goes by where I don't cry, especially when they do the last scene that is always accompanied by a great song and then shots of the family together.
Forget it, it kills me! And then I am stuffed up when I try to roll over and go to bed. Ruins my WHOLE entire night, but I watch it because it is that good.
So last night, the Mom of one of the young girls realizes exactly what I am talking about here and tells the daughter that she has to learn to let her fly on her own without interfering and trying to save her from hurting herself.
And that what it's all about.
The journey is just that, letting them fly....solo.
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