heyMamas

Photos that Evoke

 

Isn't it amazing that photos can evoke so many emotions no matter how long ago they were taken?  I found a picture today that Drew dug up of me on the beach in the Hampton's when I was seven months pregnant with Belle.

It's so weird to look at myself as a woman who didn't have children.  Even though I was about to have a child, I looked like a totally different person, which I guess I was.  The only person I had to worry about back then was myself.  It seems so funny now, looking back at what I thought were stressful times.  Or when I thought I was tired or overwhelmed and couldn't go on.  And then bam!, you have kids and it takes tired, stressed and overwhelmed to a whole new level.  A whole new universe actually.

Or the enormous range of emotions that pour out of me when I look at the pictures from our HIlton Head trip this past summer.  The pictures are as real to me as when I pass by the boogie boards waiting patiently in the garage for next summer to arrive.  I honestly think Hilton Head might be the happiest, most relaxing place on earth.

This shot was actually taken in Charleston at {I think}, Folly Beach.  I may have even posted it here before, but it is so awesome and conjures up so many happy memories that I think it deserves another showing.

This one of Lily reminds me not only of Hilton Head but of us playing every Saturday this summer at the beach with our friends.  Kids playing, running, swimming and the adults relaxing and talking while we sipped cocktails.  Our favorite time of day was when most people were actually leaving the beach and the sun was setting.  It was so serene.

This picture reminds me of the girls and how many times they asked Drew to balance them on his shoulders and throw them up in the air.  This memory is so vivid I can still hear the water splashing when they came down for their landing.   Drew is in really good shape but let me tell you, these sessions in the pool put his workouts to the test as he seemed to be more sore after this than an actual workout. 

 

I can not wait to go back to Hilton Head next summer, but until then I will always have my pictures.

 

Mani/Pedi's

Last night when I got off the train and jumped into our waiting car, Belle immediately asked me if this Thursday she could go with her friend Emma "to get a mani/pedi"?

 

"A what??" I yelled.

 

"A mani/pedi" she replied as if she were a thirty-year old working women paying her own bills.

 

"Are you kidding me, a mani/pedi?" I replied. "A nine year old shouldn't even know what a mani/pedi is."

 

Clearly she knows what a mani is as she has been asking for one since that fateful day when her sister went on a play date and got one with a friend.  And the gross injustice of that fact will haunt me forever.

 

So the Mom who almost always says yes, actually said no.  A no that was easy to say.  A no, because no nine year old daughter of mine is going to get a mani/pedi this Thursday.  Playing mani/pedi at home with friends is cute.  Begging Drew to do their nails like they always do, is cute and he is even cuter for actually doing them.

 

So of course as we are having this conversation, which has now moved from the car and into my bedroom as I take my work clothes off, I am fully aware of how much extra effort I am going to have to put forth to drive this point home.  All the while thinking, why can't I ever come home and just take off my clothes and put on my pj's?

 

So this conversation continued and we managed to cover a variety of topics that included, if you have enough money for a mani/pedi then perhaps you should be putting that money to better use, like maybe sponsoring a child in need.

 

Or how about let's donate to a children's organization in Haiti.  Let's give back instead of doing something as unimportant as getting a mani/pedi on a Thursday. I explained that when children grow up getting accustomed to things that they shouldn't be accustomed to at an early age, they are setting themselves up for disappointment later in life when they can't afford to buy themselves all those things that their parents shouldn't have bought them in the first place.  And when children get these things at early ages it always backfires as everything will always have to be bigger and better than the last thing they got, to make them happy.

 

Like, if you get a BMW as your first car, what kind of car do you get after that?  A BMW isn't a starting car, it's an ending car.  Then we discussed how material things even start to lose their luster if they aren't earned but rather given. Having Mommy and Daddy buy you something is not nearly as rewarding as earning it on your own. 

 

By the time we were done, they were all like, "yeah, I never want you to buy me a brand new car.  I want to buy it myself."

 

And I was like, "yeah, that is so much cooler to buy it yourself."

 

Belle was all like, "yeah totally.  I would rather have an old beat up truck like Bella does in Twilight."

 

Lily was all like, "yeah, me too.  I want a beat up old truck too.  Like, who would ever want their parents to buy them a car when they could have their own beat up truck which is so much cooler."

 

 

Mission accomplished people, it ain't easy but I try.

Lily at Seven (and a half)

Every year I do a birthday interview with the girls to take a pulse check on what their thoughts are about everything from their favorite foods to life in general at that particular age.

This year we somehow let Lily's seventh birthday pass without properly documenting it, so we thought we would do it now even though we are six months late.

So here it goes......

 

What has been your favorite thing so far about being seven?

Um, that's a hard one.  Well being in second grade and doing gymnastics a little bit.  Also, going on fieldtrips and like, being old enough to watch certain movies with you.

What is your favorite food?     

Definitely challah bread, pizza, pringles, and um yeah, tortillas and smile french fries.

What is your favorite thing to do?

Beg my parents for a dog, watch tv, go outside and play, go to soccer games and practice because it is so much fun.

What is your favorite color?

Definitely neon green, neon blue, neon yellow and neon black and all neon.

What is your favorite sport?

Definitely soccer.

What is your favorite piece of clothing right now?

Butter pants and Butter sweatshirt.

What would you die without?

Underwear.

What was your favorite thing you did this past summer?

Go to Hilton Head and Charleston and the worst thing was getting stung by jelly fish when I was at the beach.

Who is your best friend beside Belle?

Definitely Annie and at school it is Erin, Sadie and Sydney.

What is your favorite song?

2012, DJ Got Us Falling in Love Again and Only Girl in the World.

Who is your favorite singer?

Demi Lovato, Rihanna, Taio Cruz.

Who is your favorite actress?

Me. 

On TV?

I don't have a favorite.

What is your favorite show?

Suite Life on Deck and Wizards of Waverly Place.

What do you think is the most special thing about you?

Everything?

What are you the best at, what is your best talent?

Singing, dancing and flexibility.

What is your favorite thing about where we live?

Everyone has a dog.....except for us and I get to pet dogs.

What is your favorite thing about your sister?

She's playful, and fun. 

What is your greatest goal for your seventh year.

To do a back handspring and get a dog.

What would you do to make the world a better place?

Recycle.

What is the best thing that can ever happen to you?

To get a dog.

Do you want to have children?

Of course, I want two girls just like my Mommy.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A Mom.

Before you are a Mom, what would you like to be?

Um, I just want to be normal.

Where do you want to go to college?

California or Florida.

What do you want to study?

Art.

What is the one thing you want desperately for Christmas?

A dog and a Kindle.

 

The Pitfalls of Technology

I have decided that the convenience and immediacy of texting and emailing, has made people very lazy.  Texting and emailing allows people to say things they wouldn't normally say because there is no immediate consequence and therefore no filter is necessary.  People may flinch when you send them an inappropriate or rude text, but you can't see it.  You can't see the hurt in their eyes, or their look of disbelief that you have just said what you actually said. 

Hopefully many of you reading this, have never been unlucky enough to have had this experience.  But I have.  I just had a recent email exchange with a friend where an argument, although it didn't start out as an argument, rather just an exchange of feelings and thoughts, turned into a full fledged fight.  A fight so bad, that our friendship has subsequently ended.

Had we had a normal conversation like adults, instead of conducting this email argument, the outcome would have been totally different and of that I am one hundred percent certain.  Now I am not saying that this particular relationship had not run its course because it had and the dynamics of a friendship change all the time.  People grow and change at different paces and there is nothing wrong in that.  I am just bothered and embarrassed by the fact that I allowed a friendship to run its course via email because we were both probably just too tired and/or too busy to deal with it the traditional way. 

How pathetic is that?

I have since decided that I will never use email or text to carry on a conversation that should be had face to face.

I can not help feeling that the world has become so complacent with respect to communication.  Texting instead of calling, emailing instead of visiting. Don't get me wrong texting and email are amazingly useful tools, but I think it is clouding people's judgements on normal human connections.

The trouble with email besides the fact that it can allow you to become completely lethargic in your relationships, is that when emails are read by different people they can mean different things.  The reader could interpret an email depending on the type of mood they are in and the sentiments could be completely opposite of what the sender actually meant for it to be. 

What I take from this entire experience is that I will NEVER carry on a meaningful conversation through email again. My recent experience showed me that people can easily write things that they normally would never actually say and their words can be very surprising.   

 

Conversations about Love and Tongues

The conversations in our house have always been extremely candid.  A, we are not a shy bunch and B, I want to be as upfront as I can with my girls about things they ask me about, without crossing that line into discussing things that aren't age appropriate. 

But lucky for my girls and their need-to-know, my holding back doesn't happen too often. 

The one main issue that I have been a little less wordy about is when it comes to this question "Mom, what does sex mean?" 

This or some variation of this question, is one that I hear quite often.  Although lately, the girls think they have it all figured out.  They announced to me a few weeks ago that they do in fact know what sex is and when I asked what it was, they told me "it is a girl and a boy kissing in bed with no clothes on."

Works for me.

Another issue that we have seriously skirted around is where babies come from.  I mean, they know it takes a man and a woman, but they also think that God delivers the baby to the woman.  We have given them different answers to different questions, all true, but they have never actually connected the dots.  Which I am going to continue to be okay with for as long as I can get away with it.

The other morning Belle just busted out with, "I get really emotional when I think about love" and this is the conversation that followed that statement:

Lily:    "Yeah, the girl always makes the first move."

Belle:  "Not always."

Lily:    "Yeah, I totally know how people fall in love.  Girls drop their books and then boys pick them up and look in their eyes."

Belle:   "And then they kiss with their tongues touching.  Hahahahaa. Mommy, did you ever kiss one of your flavors* with your tongue?" 

Lily and Belle chime in:  "Yeah, did you?  Did you use your tongue?  Ever?  With a boy?  Ever?  Tell us!  PLEASE Mommy, tell us.  Maybe just like one touch with the tongue?"

Much to Drew's dismay, I answered, "why yes girls I have, many times" which caused them to erupt in just as many giggles as squeals, as they couldn't believe I told them the truth.

 

*Flavors: a word my Mother used to use to playfully refer to my string of boyfriends that I never really seemed to care much about.