I have a category called New York Nuisance and it used to be overflowing with material from my daily life when I lived in the city. Since moving to the suburbs my material has all but dried up, but that is not to say that people in the suburbs don't do stupid things because they do. It seems to happen less often but that could just be because there are a lot less people around us now.
Like the guy last weekend who's dog took a giant hot steaming nasty poop on our front lawn and then picked it up and threw it in our recently emptied by the garbage men trash bin, that was still sitting on the curb waiting to be brought back into our house. Or as this guy apparently thought, waiting just for him to dump all his nastiness in it.
All four of us stood at the window with our mouths hanging open when we saw him dump the poo in our garbage can and then a small scuffle ensued in our house that went something like this...
Is that normal?
Will that stink up our house?
Should we say something?
Drew asking, "should I kick his ass?"
This discovery period led to Drew and Belle retrieving that nasty dog poop out of the garbage can and jumping in the car to find the ass-wipe poo dumper.
The reason why this is such a big deal to us is because in our neighborhood everyone keeps their garbage cans inside their garages and this incident happened on a Saturday morning and the next garbage pickup isn't until Tuesday. And again, this was a Saturday. So that big dump of poo was going to sit in our garbage can, in my garage for three more days until Tuesday.
So Belle and Drew found the guy a few streets over as he was approaching his house and Drew holds up the bag full of poo and asks the guy if it was his. And the guy actually responds "I'm not sure".
At which point Drew tells the guy "this used to happen in the city but were here now and this can't happen".
Drew can be a bit intimidating when he wants to be and this guy was definitely thinking he was going down over a giant bag of steaming poo. Drew reiterated this would be best if it didn't happen again and they drove off with Belle trying to scream some smack out the window.
SO people in the suburbs are guilty of doing stupid things...like this lady on my train last night...
who proceeds to have a twenty minute conversation in the most obnoxious Long Island accent with her daughter who has three friends over her house and wants them all to stay for dinner and she wasn't sure about how much food she had in her house.
She proceeded to say meatballs four hundred and fifty times and then finally ended the call telling her daughter Taylor, she was punished for two weeks.
It was so obnoxious to everyone in her vicinity, not to mention embarrassing that she kept saying meatballs in the most horrible long island accent.
Believe you me, you don't want to sit next to the wrong kind of Long Islander repeatedly saying meatballs, for thirty-five minutes.
