In December I was having an issue with Belle asking me about words that she was obviously hearing from the bigger kids in her after school program. Everyday it was another word and another way to say it, followed by, "Mom, if I were to say something like that would it be bad?"
Here is just one example of a very specific conversation we had about one of the words in question....
Belle: "Is funck-it a bad word?" Struggling for a bit to get a better handle on the correct pronunciation of the word which I was really hoping she wouldn't, she did and re-phrased her question. "I mean f*ck-it, is that a bad thing to say?"
Me: "Um, yes it is Belle. That is one of the worst curse words someone can use and I never want to hear you say that again. I know sometimes Mama may laugh when you say words you are not supposed to say and some are definitely worse than others, but this one, this one is bad and I NEVER want to hear you say it. Ok? Do you understand what I am saying to you?"
Belle: "Yes, Mom, I get it. So it is different from saying bitch then right? Bitch isn't a bad word is it? I mean even Grandma said is not a bad word, it is just a word for a female dog, right? Or ass? Ass isn't really a bad word either, right? Grandma told me and Lily that it was just a donkey. So that couldn't be a bad word, right Mama?"
Me: "Yes, I guess Belle everything you are saying that Grandma said is indeed true, but I would prefer if you would not use those words at all even though they may mean just donkey and dog. Do you understand?"
Belle: "Yeah, yeah Mom I get it. So let me see here just to be really clear, so if I were to say 'you are so f**king stupid', is that a bad thing to say?"
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I told a friend of mine at work about this and she sent me the following story about Brooke Shields appearing on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and explaining to him about some of the cute little things her children have picked up since being back in New York.
Rowan has "picked up some good New York language" during her brief time here, according to the 43-year-old actress. However, on one recent car ride Brooke was shocked when Rowan casually exclaimed from the back seat,
"F-ck, f-ck, f-ck, I want my window down, f-ck." Trying not to overreact, Brooke put on her best "Botox face" and acted as though she was unaffected by what she had just heard. "I was like, 'I don't know what you mean. You want your window down, honey? Sure,'" Brooke explained. The incident was a sign of things to come!
Not long thereafter, recalls Brooke,
"So we're having a playdate and this very prominent, very wealthy, lovely woman comes over to pick up her daughter. They're playing in my kid's room, and Rowan, without missing a beat, looks at her and goes, 'What the f-ck are you doing here?' I'm in cardiac arrest, there's no way to explain it. At which point she turns away, [sighs] and goes, 'Oh f-ck.'"
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I guess that is just how we New Yorkers roll, my friends. We do it New York style.