heyMamas

Bedtime procrastination raised to an art form

Here was Tuesday, October 21st's lesson on how can I stall Mama and steal five more minutes of not having to go to bed.

 

Me:  "Ok girls, goodnight, I mean it."

Lily:  "Mama, can I tell you something really serious?"

Hard to resist, so I say "sure baby, but then it's bedtime." 

Lily, "I love you so much, it is so crazy.  You are so kind, so sweet."   Followed by a LONG dramatic pause.  I mean so long, I could have taken a nap. 

And then, "I just need that heart."  Followed by an even L-O-N-G-E-R dramatic pause (which quite frankly I didn't even think was possible), and then "I want to be just like you, Mama."

I melt and say, "oh baby, that is so sweet.  I know you love me, I mean I AM your Mama after all."

 

I try to break out of this love hold, although I hate to, I mean this stuff is the essence of motherhood, but I  am acutely aware of the fact that the clock is ticking and ticking way past their bedtimes, and it is a school night. 

As I move over to Belle's bed to kiss her goodnight, Lily whispers, "Mama, don't tell Belle but I love you more" in what is not quite a whisper.

Before Belle can respond, I cut her off at the pass because poor Belle has heard this declaration of Lily's love for me more than her, one too many times. 

 

So I say, "No Lily, you just love me so much because I am your Mama, that's all.  I mean I am Mama, always around, always going to be here for you, ya know MAMA."

I continue, "Belle, that is the only reason she says that to me, because I am her Mama.  I mean I am the reason for you being here.  I mean I single-handedly baked you in my belly for ten months (yes people, you heard that right, pregnant for 42 weeks). 

Belle chimes in, "yeah, you are the Mama that had you stomach stretched and gave birth through your vagina and then operation girl, haha, that's you Mama." 

"Exactly Belle, thanks for putting it that way"  I say.

Lily continues, "really Mama, you are so special and I just love you, it's really serious."

I reply, "you know what makes me the most special?  There are two reasons, do you know what they are?" 

They both stare at me, Belle says, "because you are vagina and operation girl?"

"No" I reply, my two reasons for being so special are called Belle and Lily." 

The little flower

Belle had a religion project due today and it consisted of making a shield that depicted a Saint of her choice.  Belle chose St. Therese of Lisieux, also known as the little flower, at the suggestion of my friend at work.  Since my Saint knowledge is quite limited outside of the well known Saints, and I didn't want to do a Saint that was going to be done by three other students, we decided to take this suggestion and create the shield based on this young Saint's life.  We were shooting for an A ya know, and any 'ole Saint wasn't gonna bring us that kind of grade. 

We had to get creative, and notice that I am saying we, here people.  As any parent of a school age child knows, school projects, or whatever you want to call them, are actually just a practice in torture unleashed on the poor unsuspecting parents, as if trying to relax on the weekends was not hard enough.  Because we all know who the actual brains behind the operation is. 

In addition to creativity, I needed a parent in my pocket.  What I mean by this, is simply, if you don't get the low down from a parent that has already had a child pass through this teacher's class, you are up shits creek.  Up shit's creek, in that you will not know that you need to use a big giant piece of oak tag to snag the A+, not the 8.5 by 11 piece of paper that the Saint shield instructions were sent home on.  No, no, no, you need to have the parent in your pocket to let you know the winning moves, to know that the oak tag shield is the shield that will garner the A+ grade for you, oh, I mean for your child. 

This project took on a two part strategy.  Last week Drew and Belle read through the information that I had googled on Saint Therese and this week they added all of the detail to it.  We are talking pictures throughout, tissue paper, AND construction paper to separate the lines.  I came home from the gym and just about fell over, to my surprise, they had created themselves quite a Saint's Shield.  And that people is how they roll....

 

Pictured above, is a close up of the top of the shield and pictured below is the whole shield.

 

 

Sound bites that bit

There is a small paper that I read during my morning subway commute called Metro, and it comes in handy when I don't feel like reading The Post, let alone trying to negotiateThe New York Times,  which is a Sunday thing anyway, in theory of course, because between the four soccer games (that post to follow one of these days) and the basketball games, there is not too much relaxing while quietly reading throughThe New York Times, going on in my house. 

The piece below caught my attention as it contained certain quotes that each candidate and their veeps have let slip past their lips, during what is quickly becoming a bloody battle for the Presidency.

  

I tried to blow up the portion that I want to show you, rather than include the whole page, but I didn't have much luck with that.  So here are the recent blunders that have come out of the mouths of our potential leaders of the free world....

Barack's Quote:    "Our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes - and I see many of them in the audience today." 

             Metro's response to that should be SIT DOWN, STUPID, but they word it as their fact check, and their response to his statement is: 

When soldiers are fallen, that means they're dead.  So we don't know who the hell you are looking at.

 

McCain's Quote: (equally as stupid as the guy above): "Across this county, this is the agenda I have set before my fellow prisoners.  The same standards must be applied to my opponent." 

            Metro's fact check should once again be SIT DOWN, STUPID, but instead they choose:

Um, we're not in jail or being held captive by wayward terrorists or anything, so who on earth are you talking to?

Palin's Quote: (stupid as well but not as many people may pick up on it, especially the geographical challenged, like myself):  "They are also building schools so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring county of Afghanistan."

            Metro's fact check states:

Afghanistan is nowhere near us.  And P.S. neither is Russia, so please get just go ahead and get off that one while you're at it.

 

And by far the most shocking comment to actually be said, outside of your closest group of friends or family, much less on the world stage, if you are even going to say it OUT LOUD, would be......

 

Biden's Quote:   "You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.....I'm not joking."

                Metro's fact check:

We went to Dunkin' Donuts this morning and no one seemed to mind that we sound like Kentucky backwoods boobs.

 

My personal fact check:  Are you freaking kidding me, that a man in his position would ACTUALLY utter a comment so politically incorrect, not to mention in the race for the Presidency?

 

Let me give you one more image of John McCain, as I myself sit here and quietly wonder, what the hell was he doing?  The monster mash.....

  

 

Positively in the moment

I took this picture the other day while we were outside our house goofing around with the camera.  I didn't even realize that I had taken it until I went inside and started scrolling through all the shots.  Belle has decided she does not like this picture because it shows the birthmark on her left cheek. 

I love the spontaneity of this photo, although not as much as I love its subject.

 

To Comic Sans, how I love you

So Typepad is implementing some small formatting changes with their blogging platform and I have decided to take them up on it.  Comic Sans is my most favorite font and I can FINALLY use it here at heyMamas, so my posts may look a little different going forward.

No big deal, just didn't want to go a changing without letting y'all know. 

xoxo 

(oohh so Gossip Girl of me....)